ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
