Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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