i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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