4 words: hood of his car
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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