I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
