And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
