that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize