why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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