Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
