i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
