my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
