I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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