Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
you never un-have a 4some
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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