I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
