i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
