She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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