no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
