this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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