Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think I am morally bankrupt
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
