Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
