Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
North Korea, Best Korea!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
