his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
