# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
