winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
