Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I miss vodka workout Fridays
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
