fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
