On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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