So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
