she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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