jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
