Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
