shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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