Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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