is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
