my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize