I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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