never play flip cup with pint glasses
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
