I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You've changed since you got that strap on
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize