Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
