he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
third nipple confirmed
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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