i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We got so high we made milksteak
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.