All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
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I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
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Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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