Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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