Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
