True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
