I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
