is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
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can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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