btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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