problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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