dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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