Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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