she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
