I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
