After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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