she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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