There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
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I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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