Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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