just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
