so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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