No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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