is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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