Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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