i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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